Sunday, January 6, 2008

.......And we're back.

hello all. i know it's been about 6 months since my last post (not that anyone reads this) but i decided to start again because i have things i need to talk about, even if it is only my mind and fingers. i had a nice halloween, went up home to ohio for thanksgiving, got engaged after thanksgiving dinner, and had a very nice christmas and new years even though i missed my family. i got some nice gifts and it was nice to spend my first holiday season with gnat and her family, not to mention this was the first christmas i've spent with my dad in about 15 years. so, yea, it was nice. okay, well that pretty much brings us up to speed for now and it's time for a new year with new and exciting thoughts and experiences (i have recently taken up tennis! haha i know, it's funny). also, i will keeping you up to date with the wedding planning, which is scheduled for december 20th, 2008. i know it's short, but i'm tired and wanna watch football. stay tuned, it's gonna be fun, well, maybe funny if nothing else. peace and hair grease


oh, the sports side of things. my beloved wolverines had a shitty-then good-then shitty again season that ended the absolute best way it could: with a win over the much-hated florida gators in the capital one bowl. final stats 9-4 (6-2 t-2nd in big ten) final top 25 rank not available yet but will be when ohio state loses........GO LSU!!!

then there's the steelers who in their first year with a new head coach surprisingly won the afc north with a record of 10-6. (beating the browns twice along the way hehehe) only to be beaten last night in the first round of the playoffs by jacksonville for the second time this season. even after coming back from 18 points down in the fourth quarter still couldn't stop david garrard and the jags new-found offense. i'm still in mourning.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Just A Few Thoughts...................

sometimes (usually at work) i sit around and have these random thoughts that cross my mind, more like questions, really. here's a few that i can remember :

q) why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

q) why do convenience stores and gas stations that are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, have locks on the doors?

q) why hasn't anyone invented a peanut butter jar with the same dispensing concept of a deodorant stick? i frickin' hate gettin peanut butter on my knuckles and fingers!

q) 1. ever sit and think how good your girlfriend/wife is at giving head?
2. ever wonder how she got that good?

q) if aliens from outer space are allegedly of the highest intelligence, why do they always abduct the dumbest frickin' hillbillies this side of podunk and let them remember enough to describe it on the evening news?

q) why does purified bottled water have an expiration date? not so pure it seems......


q) if a tree falls in a forest and there's no one around to see or hear it and it lands on dr. phil, does anyone give a shit?

q) what kind of bees make milk? a) boobies!!

there are no such thing as tornadoes, chuck norris just really hates trailer parks. hehe

my friend chris has a trophy wife, just not a first place trophy.

that's all i got for now, peace and chicken grease -special k

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Fun While It Lasted

well, it was an interesting weekend back in good ol' t-town. it was very nice to see my mom, siblings and a few other relatives. it was also nice to show gnat where i grew up and give her a tour of the area, which took all of fifteen minutes. i'm not kidding, this place is minuscule. then she got to meet my friends and catch up on some beer drinkin' like we're known to do back home. that's in large part to that being the only fun thing to do there other than cow tippin'. hehe i'd say in the two nights we were there i probably consumed close to 35 beers with gnat playing a distant second with like maybe an 18-pack.............lightweight. it was fun watching the fireworks on saturday night because even though the town has less people than a low-budget movie cast (including extras), it actually boasts a damn nice fireworks display. my friends and family approved of gnat, which is good, and she handled herself very well with my friends and siblings drunken antics. i.e. my brother, the poster child for drunken belligerence. i didn't even go to my favorite watering-hole, margaret's cafe, for fear of a ban put on me due to some events that occurred around christmastime. how could i have forgotten? oh yea, i was really drunk. but that's another story for another time. all in all, it was a good weekend and i'm glad my mom and gnat finally met because they might be related soon, who knows ;) stay tuned for more.......peace and chicken grease -special k

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Where I Come From.....

hello all. i know it has been awhile since my last post, but gimme a break, i been frickin busy as hell playin' mr. mom and stuff. i guess you could say i've been on 'hiatus'. i just wanted to say that word. well, i've been workin my ass off lately (in upwards of 60 hours a week) and takin care of mine and gnat's dog's while she has been gone at summer camp, and trust me, that and keeping the house clean is a full time job in itself. also, gnat and i have been house shopping and finally found one which i saw and made a decision on last week. it ain't much, but it's perfect for a couple and a couple of dogs, just enough space for the four of us and i use the phrase 'just enough' loosely.

anyway, gnat and i leave tomorrow to go visit my mom and other family way up yonder in ohio. i know everyone thinks there is nothing there but farms, but you'd be wrong. well, partially right, but wrong. there is a fair share of farms, but a lot of small suburban cities and a lot of bigger cities as well (i.e. cincinnati, cleveland, columbus, akron, toledo, etc. just find a map) i am from a small town of about 8,000 called toronto. no, not canada, ohio...........tard. same founder, different country. our prime source of economy used to be purely steel mills and other industrious careers in the surrounding area and our local titanium plant right at the end of town. but now due to outsourcing and the damn chinese, the economy has withered away down to almost nothing and continues to shrink every year. in order to find a decent paying job except for the wal-mart distribution center in nearby richmond, expect to travel at least 20 minutes to an hour to neighboring cities such as steubenville, another city in ohio (birthplace of dean martin) wheeling, west virginia, all the way to as far as pittsburgh, pennsylvania, which is closer to an hour drive. and it sucks balls. i was workin in pittsburgh at a nutritional supplement/vitamin plant before i moved to the sunshine state. and waking up at 4 a.m. to be at work by 5:30 is no fun at all. but i digress. i was showing my boss at work today where it exactly is on google earth and there was a little article that i read that just depressed the shit outta me. and it read: 'what used to be a vast economical structure boasting many industrial jobs has sinced declined and the titanium plant hires fewer and fewer employees each year. the town today is quite poor. famous people include robert urich (douchebag who actually referred to the town as a 'rotting cesspool') , hall of fame fullback clarke hinkle (yea, he played in the 40's) and rollie fingers'...... who actually isn't even from there. seeing the sights includes 3 local bars and two old-ass dilapidated buildings that aren't even habitable anymore and the first war statue in america. whoooopeeee! i'm officially from what once was a happenin' place to be at the turn of the century turned shit-hole. awesome....... what do i win? a trip home to remind me how much i miss it. yes, how much i miss the only fun thing to do besides fishing and hunting is, you guessed it, getting wasted at one of the town's landmarks, margaret's cafe. which is only approximately 15 short steps away from my mother's back door. ahhhhh, sweet reunion. keep readin and i'll let you know how it went. peace and chicken grease, -special k.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Sore Loser

competitive - adj. 1. involving competition 2. strongly wanting to be more successful than other people 3. as good as or better than others of a similar nature

i am a very competitive person. anyone who's ever played sports or done anything where they're trying to excel past or be better than someone else knows exactly what i mean. it doesn't matter to me, i could be driving down Dr. MLK street and if someone passes me, my pedal is on the damn floor faster than innocent bystanders during a drive-by. who do they think they are? tryin to pass this 5.4 liter triton v8, must be outta their damn mind. even when my girlfriend kicked the dog shit outta me in ping pong, i wanted to smash everything in sight. it didn't help when she proceeded to tell me how bad i sucked. because when it comes to being a sore loser, i'm the sorest of the sore.

i can't stand to lose. nothing makes my blood pressure rise faster than losing or failing. so what do i do when i lose? i become the biggest cry-baby on the planet. i completely shut down and do not want to be bothered. i'm pretty much un-approachable for a few hours depending on the severity of the loss. if i can't beat a song on guitar hero (it gets hard on expert) i usually scream obscenities, punch the guitar and start again, but the hissy-fit is often short-lived. but other times, like tonight, when my softball team loses and only scores one run (yea that's not a typo) in an inner-city softball league, i lose it. not to mention the fact that i played like a Special Olympic decathlete, which makes it 100 times worse. i recently took the coaching job of a softball team and when i react like this, i don't talk to anyone and leave the field as fast as i can, which can be a bad thing. (i have already e-mailed the team and apologized for being such a shithead) not just for the team, but for others, too, like my loving girlfriend. yes, the same one that i have referred to time and time again as the wonderful 'gnat'. when i react like this she doesn't like it, either and lets me know about it which makes me feel even worse because sometimes i yell at her and hurt her feelings even though she had nothing to do with it. bad thing. very bad thing.

what i need to do is find different ways to deal with my anger other than smoking and punching the most solid surface in sight i.e. trees, walls, cars, trunk lids...........damn buckeyes. i need to learn to lose gracefully and not get so down and pissed off about it. when i win or my team wins, it's controlled enthusiasm because i'm not a complete asshole, i don't rub it in, i graciously accept it and move on. now why the hell can't i do that with losing? i haven't found an answer yet, but i'm open for suggestions. in the mean time, i'm gonna go see how many times i can punch the garage door before it or i collapses. thanks for reading, peace and chicken grease -special k

Sunday, June 3, 2007

The Week That Was.....

And what a week it's been. well, more like the past 5 days, rather. let's see.......where shall i start. ah yes, here we are. tuesday was your usual, run-of -the-mill day at work. get it, mill? haha i'm a machinist apprentice and i work with cnc (computer numerically controlled) mills. no? oh nevermind, i can tell by that blank look on your head you have no idea what i mean. anyway, work was alright, even though i was beraded by fellow co-workers for a previous post. my boss even went as far to hand me a small ziplock bag with two steel ball bearings in it and said "here, you can hang on to these until you get your balls outta gnat's purse". i couldn't even get mad at the lil' munchkin because it was actually quite funny. a rarity in terms of him making jokes. so i just laughed it and all the other anti-masculine jokes that i had heard off. some were funny and some were so damn dumb i wonder if the people telling them were actually trying to be that stupid on purpose or rode the short bus when they were younger. so that was my day at work only to be followed by a rather disappointing show from one of my favorite all-time bands, tool. yea , that's right, i didn't think it was possible for maynard and the boys to put on a bad show because of the two other times i had seen them, but let me tell you, i spent the majority of the concert with me head so non-challantly rested on my right hand as if in complete boredom. i don't know if it was the venue at which they played or the mass-capacity crowd, but it sounded like a big loud ball of triple-baked shit. and i'm not the only one with these sentiments, gnat was quite pissed as well because she too had seen them at an earlier show and was dumbfounded at how good they sounded live. so all in all, it was a less than mediocre tuesday to say the least.


wednesday
was nothing special. just late for work because of the travesty i had experienced the night before lasted until about one thirty in the morning. so i worked until 4:30 and went to school. (see, i go to school to learn more about my job as a............oh well, forget it, dipshit) school was boring as usual, but we left early, which i'm always a big fan of. i came home, cooked gnat and i some fish that was caught on memorial day, helped her babysit for a minute, got a shower and went to bed.


thursday
was a long day. i worked about thirteen and a half hours, came home and thought i was too tired for guitar hero. key word being thought. so i rocked out for about an hour or so and gnat brought me home some delicious shish-kabobs from a family barbecue that i missed due to my hellaciously long work day. so i devoured them, washed my butt and went to sleep.


friday
was a decent day. work went pretty well and i went to gnat's father's, who's in from panama, 73rd birthday party. man, i only hope to live that long and live such a fruitful and meaningful life. it kind of makes you sit back and take things into perspective, ya know? like "would i still make the same choices and have the same friends if i could do it all differently?" i'd like to think so. i don't have any regrets in my life thus far because everything that happens is for reason, whether you want to hear it or not. and everything we do, day-to-day, is all part of God's plan. and why would he wants us to have regrets or be unhappy? why would he want us to second guess everything if he didn't know where we'd end up? sorry if i offended you scientologist freaks out there, oh wait, no i'm not. pardon me for getting off the subject, but scientology is the dumbest fucking thing i have ever heard of other than people thinking the holocaust was a hoax. your whole belief structure is completely whacked and anyone who thinks differently is probably gay. anyway, dinner was good followed by some delicious desserts such as rhubarb-strawberry pie. never had rhubarb before and it was surprisingly good even though the name makes me think of eating rusty barbed-wire. something also happened on friday that was down right ridiculous. if any of you are sports fans then you saw or heard about the carlos zambrano - michael barret fight in the friendly confines of wrigley field. well, what spawned from a passed ball due to barret setting up wrong for the pitch turned into a slapfight in the dugout, then into zambrano stomping an alleged mudhole in barret's face in the locker room. quite funny, yes. but terrible for a team that started well and is now on the decline as it so happens to be more often then not this time of year. in the middle of a six game losing streak, it just shows that my team is falling apart. not to mention lou pinella losing his shit and kicking a pitcher's mound worth of dirt onto the ump's shoes. things couldn't be going worse for my beloved cubbies. (until today they man-handled the braves 10-1, woo-hoo!!) the are currently 8 games under .500 and seven and half games out of the NL central lead. where was i?


oh, i worked early on saturday morning (yea that's right, some of us have to provide for a family) and spent the day relaxing and napping with gnat and helped her babysit at night. and let me say there will be no little special k's or little gnats anytime soon. i'm quite content with our dogs and they're alot less annoying. which brings me to today.


gnat and i woke up early and went to church this morning, but not before some delicious coffee and the dogs taking massive rhinoceros-sized shits in the neighbors' yards. (and i don't clean it up! haha jokes on you, ya rich bastards!!!) church was good and fulfilling and then came the grocery store. for anyone who doesn't normally grocery shop on weekends : STAY AWAY FROM SUPERMARKETS ON SUNDAY MORNING!!!! it will only cause headaches and your feet will hurt from little old silver-helmets (old ladies) ramming into you with carts because they can barely see, let alone steer. much like there driving, get it? after an hour or so of geriatric park we went to the devil rays game with gnats family and witnessed a surprising, yet impressive win. it hasn't been a bad week, but not that great of one either. if it were all that bad, i'd have plenty more to bitch about, trust me. peace and chicken grease -special k

q: if a tree falls in the middle of the forest and it hits a mime and no one is around to hear or see it, does anyone care?

Monday, May 28, 2007

the keys to being happy...........

here you are......they're yours. i'm handing you the keys and i don't mean car keys, you spoiled fuck. what i'm referring to are the keys to being happy in a relationship. i know everyone seems to have "the" definitive answer, but it's more every one's different interpretation than anything else. also, being only twenty-three years old, i may seem a little wet around the ears to be preaching on the subject, but i have seen enough relationships and been in quite a few as well, so here goes. now don't get me wrong, everyone has the right to be happy. whether it be sittin on the couch, playing guitar hero (huge fan!!) for eleven straight hours or spending time with that someone special (also huge fan) or even (insert weird fetish here, nasty-ass). whatever it may be, you must have even the smallest of doses everyday to keep you sane and not reaching for the 9mm in your dresser drawer. now me, i really enjoy spending time with gnat and sometimes that includes both of us relaxing, eating and playing guitar hero until our hands cramp. my favorite three things all at once, god is smiling on me!! but as of late, gnat and i have been disagreeing an awful lot which has ultimately led to us arguing even more. i can stand arguing or having tension between us because i don't ever wanna be without her, but like clockwork, couples fight. it's inevitable, like death and taxes, there will come a time when you and your wittle schmoopy will have arguments, some maybe worse than others, but still, it happens. there are many many things that can cause these, but i am only going to focus on a few. 1) don't let what others think and say affect the way you are in your relationship, fuck them. for all you know, they're givin you this dynamite advice and then goin home and kickin the shit outta their wife and kids after gettin sloshed on jack-and-cokes. only you should decide what's right for you and your mate. i mean, it's good to take advice, but not to act on it so abruptly, think about it first. if someone tells you she wears the pants in the relationship, that does not mean you automatically start pickin fights and raising your tone with her just to try to feel like a macho-hard ass-redneck. think about what they're saying and how much they really know about your relationship and then do what is necessary. most of the time it's not gonna change a damn thing. 2) don't let her/his past affect the way you feel about them. everyone has one and it had nothing to do with you then, so why should it now? unless you find a certifiable virgin, which the older you get, the way more impossible it becomes. anyway, all that matters is that they are yours now and you bringing up old shit that you didn't even know anything about prior to knowing them isn't good for anyone. it's just gonna make you sick because you're obviously thinkin worst-case scenario and it's gonna make them feel bad about themselves when you yourself are just as guilty of the same things. just let it be, like the beatles. sorry, i had to. now, if you knew the person prior to hooking up with them, then that's a different story, but it still shouldn't affect you, unless people are constantly makin train noises when you're out in public. then it's time to put that slut out to pasture. just take my advice and don't let it get to you, it'll only lead to bad things, trust me. well it's late and this is the longest damn thing i have ever written, seriously, it is. thanks for listening and i'll be back sometime soon for more abstract thoughts. peace and chicken grease.