sometimes (usually at work) i sit around and have these random thoughts that cross my mind, more like questions, really. here's a few that i can remember :
q) why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
q) why do convenience stores and gas stations that are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, have locks on the doors?
q) why hasn't anyone invented a peanut butter jar with the same dispensing concept of a deodorant stick? i frickin' hate gettin peanut butter on my knuckles and fingers!
q) 1. ever sit and think how good your girlfriend/wife is at giving head?
2. ever wonder how she got that good?
q) if aliens from outer space are allegedly of the highest intelligence, why do they always abduct the dumbest frickin' hillbillies this side of podunk and let them remember enough to describe it on the evening news?
q) why does purified bottled water have an expiration date? not so pure it seems......
q) if a tree falls in a forest and there's no one around to see or hear it and it lands on dr. phil, does anyone give a shit?
q) what kind of bees make milk? a) boobies!!
there are no such thing as tornadoes, chuck norris just really hates trailer parks. hehe
my friend chris has a trophy wife, just not a first place trophy.
that's all i got for now, peace and chicken grease -special k
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Fun While It Lasted
well, it was an interesting weekend back in good ol' t-town. it was very nice to see my mom, siblings and a few other relatives. it was also nice to show gnat where i grew up and give her a tour of the area, which took all of fifteen minutes. i'm not kidding, this place is minuscule. then she got to meet my friends and catch up on some beer drinkin' like we're known to do back home. that's in large part to that being the only fun thing to do there other than cow tippin'. hehe i'd say in the two nights we were there i probably consumed close to 35 beers with gnat playing a distant second with like maybe an 18-pack.............lightweight. it was fun watching the fireworks on saturday night because even though the town has less people than a low-budget movie cast (including extras), it actually boasts a damn nice fireworks display. my friends and family approved of gnat, which is good, and she handled herself very well with my friends and siblings drunken antics. i.e. my brother, the poster child for drunken belligerence. i didn't even go to my favorite watering-hole, margaret's cafe, for fear of a ban put on me due to some events that occurred around christmastime. how could i have forgotten? oh yea, i was really drunk. but that's another story for another time. all in all, it was a good weekend and i'm glad my mom and gnat finally met because they might be related soon, who knows ;) stay tuned for more.......peace and chicken grease -special k
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Where I Come From.....
hello all. i know it has been awhile since my last post, but gimme a break, i been frickin busy as hell playin' mr. mom and stuff. i guess you could say i've been on 'hiatus'. i just wanted to say that word. well, i've been workin my ass off lately (in upwards of 60 hours a week) and takin care of mine and gnat's dog's while she has been gone at summer camp, and trust me, that and keeping the house clean is a full time job in itself. also, gnat and i have been house shopping and finally found one which i saw and made a decision on last week. it ain't much, but it's perfect for a couple and a couple of dogs, just enough space for the four of us and i use the phrase 'just enough' loosely.
anyway, gnat and i leave tomorrow to go visit my mom and other family way up yonder in ohio. i know everyone thinks there is nothing there but farms, but you'd be wrong. well, partially right, but wrong. there is a fair share of farms, but a lot of small suburban cities and a lot of bigger cities as well (i.e. cincinnati, cleveland, columbus, akron, toledo, etc. just find a map) i am from a small town of about 8,000 called toronto. no, not canada, ohio...........tard. same founder, different country. our prime source of economy used to be purely steel mills and other industrious careers in the surrounding area and our local titanium plant right at the end of town. but now due to outsourcing and the damn chinese, the economy has withered away down to almost nothing and continues to shrink every year. in order to find a decent paying job except for the wal-mart distribution center in nearby richmond, expect to travel at least 20 minutes to an hour to neighboring cities such as steubenville, another city in ohio (birthplace of dean martin) wheeling, west virginia, all the way to as far as pittsburgh, pennsylvania, which is closer to an hour drive. and it sucks balls. i was workin in pittsburgh at a nutritional supplement/vitamin plant before i moved to the sunshine state. and waking up at 4 a.m. to be at work by 5:30 is no fun at all. but i digress. i was showing my boss at work today where it exactly is on google earth and there was a little article that i read that just depressed the shit outta me. and it read: 'what used to be a vast economical structure boasting many industrial jobs has sinced declined and the titanium plant hires fewer and fewer employees each year. the town today is quite poor. famous people include robert urich (douchebag who actually referred to the town as a 'rotting cesspool') , hall of fame fullback clarke hinkle (yea, he played in the 40's) and rollie fingers'...... who actually isn't even from there. seeing the sights includes 3 local bars and two old-ass dilapidated buildings that aren't even habitable anymore and the first war statue in america. whoooopeeee! i'm officially from what once was a happenin' place to be at the turn of the century turned shit-hole. awesome....... what do i win? a trip home to remind me how much i miss it. yes, how much i miss the only fun thing to do besides fishing and hunting is, you guessed it, getting wasted at one of the town's landmarks, margaret's cafe. which is only approximately 15 short steps away from my mother's back door. ahhhhh, sweet reunion. keep readin and i'll let you know how it went. peace and chicken grease, -special k.
anyway, gnat and i leave tomorrow to go visit my mom and other family way up yonder in ohio. i know everyone thinks there is nothing there but farms, but you'd be wrong. well, partially right, but wrong. there is a fair share of farms, but a lot of small suburban cities and a lot of bigger cities as well (i.e. cincinnati, cleveland, columbus, akron, toledo, etc. just find a map) i am from a small town of about 8,000 called toronto. no, not canada, ohio...........tard. same founder, different country. our prime source of economy used to be purely steel mills and other industrious careers in the surrounding area and our local titanium plant right at the end of town. but now due to outsourcing and the damn chinese, the economy has withered away down to almost nothing and continues to shrink every year. in order to find a decent paying job except for the wal-mart distribution center in nearby richmond, expect to travel at least 20 minutes to an hour to neighboring cities such as steubenville, another city in ohio (birthplace of dean martin) wheeling, west virginia, all the way to as far as pittsburgh, pennsylvania, which is closer to an hour drive. and it sucks balls. i was workin in pittsburgh at a nutritional supplement/vitamin plant before i moved to the sunshine state. and waking up at 4 a.m. to be at work by 5:30 is no fun at all. but i digress. i was showing my boss at work today where it exactly is on google earth and there was a little article that i read that just depressed the shit outta me. and it read: 'what used to be a vast economical structure boasting many industrial jobs has sinced declined and the titanium plant hires fewer and fewer employees each year. the town today is quite poor. famous people include robert urich (douchebag who actually referred to the town as a 'rotting cesspool') , hall of fame fullback clarke hinkle (yea, he played in the 40's) and rollie fingers'...... who actually isn't even from there. seeing the sights includes 3 local bars and two old-ass dilapidated buildings that aren't even habitable anymore and the first war statue in america. whoooopeeee! i'm officially from what once was a happenin' place to be at the turn of the century turned shit-hole. awesome....... what do i win? a trip home to remind me how much i miss it. yes, how much i miss the only fun thing to do besides fishing and hunting is, you guessed it, getting wasted at one of the town's landmarks, margaret's cafe. which is only approximately 15 short steps away from my mother's back door. ahhhhh, sweet reunion. keep readin and i'll let you know how it went. peace and chicken grease, -special k.
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